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Understanding Domestic Violence
Source: Understanding Domestic Violence
Understanding Domestic Violence
Photo Courtesy nairobinews.co.ke
What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence, also called battering, spouse abuse, family violence or intimate partner violence, is a pattern of assaultive and coercive behaviors in which an individual establishes and maintains power and control over another with whom he/she has an intimate, romantic, marital or family relationship. Abusers often use threats, intimidation, isolation, violent acts and other behaviors to establish and maintain power and control, which is the crux of domestic violence.
The following are common types of abuse that may be used sparingly and at discernible points of a relationship, or repeatedly and consistently throughout a relationship.
- Physical Abuse
- Sexual Abuse
- Verbal Abuse
- Emotional/Psychological Abuse
- Economic Abuse
- Immigration Abuse
- Marital Rape
Domestic violence occurs in the relationship where abusers and survivors know each other, and could happen both in adult and adolescent intimate or familial relationships. The abuser and survivor may be married, divorced, separated, cohabitating, have a child together, dating or simply part of the family. They may be heterosexual or homosexual. The relationship may be long-term or may have just started. Domestic violence can occur in any type of intimate partner or familial relationship. Domestic violence is a crime.
How do I know it’s domestic violence?
Does your partner ever:
- Publicly shame you
- Try to isolate you from others
- Try to dominate you
- Stalk or follow you
- Threaten to kill or harm you, or someone you love
- Threaten your pet
- Intimidate you with weapons
- Take your money or deny you financial resources
- Threaten to take away your children
- Deny or minimize abuse
- Accuse you of being unfaithful
- Threaten suicide to try to force you to do something?
Has your partner ever:
- Bitten you
- Punched you
- Slapped you
- Kicked you
- Bitten you
- Pulled your hair
- Sexually assaulted you
- Kidnapped you or held you hostage?
- Profile of an abuser
There are five key elements to an abuser:
- Entitlement thinking
- Avoidance of feelings of helplessness, fear and powerlessness
- Denial about the impact his behavior has on himself and others
- Benefits from institutional and cultural forms of inequality
- Potentially aggravating factors: substance abuse, mental illness
- Men who have witnessed their parents’ domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own wives compared to children of non violent parents
- Girls who have witnessed domestic violence are more likely to stay in an abusive relationship as an adult.
- More than 50% of batterers also abuse their children or their victim’s children.
- Nearly one in three adult women experience at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood. ( Bureau of Justice Statistical Report- Violence Against Women – 1995)
- 30% of Americans say they know a woman who has been physically abused by her husband or boyfriend in the past year. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention – Costs of Intimate Partner Violence – 2003)
- It is estimated that domestic violence costs more than $900 million a year due to lower productivity, staff turnover, and absenteeism and an additional $900 million in earnings lost by victims of intimate partner violence. Centers for Disease Control Costs of Intimate Partner Violence 2003)
- Of those victimized by an intimate partner, 85% are women and 15% are men. (Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Report: Intimate Partner Violence and Age of Victim, 1993-1999, (2001) ).
- Abused women are twice as likely as non-abused women to have poor health and physical and mental problems, even if the violence occurred years before. (World Health Organization- WHO Multi County Study on Women’s Health 2005)
NOTE:This information is from S.A.F.E House website.
WHO SHOULD DO IT FIRST!
What is the right time to put your feet down and declare enough is enough.
How much statistics does one need before action is done,how many souls should be lost,hearts broken,bodies defiled,children losing their innocence,parents being thoroughly broken by these acts before we put a stop to it?
Just like the rising insecurity,cases of sexual violence is also coming in faster than Rudisha’s 800m dash.
Young women have been raped in full view of their parents and relatives,children defiled as their parents watch helplessly their young innocent eyes looking at them,pleading with them to take away their misery,the mother cannot take it and looks away,the rapist hits her ordering her to watch,the girls eyes change with each ordeal…..
At what point do we stop this?
The young lady seated at a bus travelling at night. She is placed to this man,a father figure…she feels safe until the journey starts and people start dozing off. The man,the father figure starts caressing her young breasts…she is scared but she gathers courage to change seats. She never says a word about her situation. She is violated,she feels dirty but she is too ashamed to share it. The man smiles at her at the end of the journey as hr alights.
How should she stop this?
Our sweet lovely sons are not to be spared,they are sodomised and sexually molested. They are not well equipped to handle this kind of thing.
The old foreign guy carries him on his shoulder,he laughs happily,they are going for a treat. The come out of a supermarket and he is happily bouncing his new ball,the guy has another polythene bag full of other toys.
The young boy can not wait to get home,he is going to be the envy of the estate boys.
He gets back to the estate some hours later but he cannot walk well,he is in so much pain he cannot play with the ball,he cannot sit so he leans on a fence and watch his mates play,he fiddles his toy car feeling confused.
A few people get to know of this and liase for the arrest of the foreigner,a few days later he is a free man with another young boy holding his hand,swinging and jumping playfully,oblivious to what awaits him.
Who will protect this boy?
She goes missing. She was sent to the shop just a few metres from the house,10minutes tops and she should be back in the house. She is found the next morning at a house under construction bleeding,naked,cold,scared she had cried herself to sleep. She has to be rushed to hospital and face a myriad or reconstructive surgery as she was very damaged.
How safe are they?
She has a reproductive health issue and rushes to see her doctor. Examination…..but instead of the doc putting on a glove as required he washes his hand and puts it inside her vagina…she is uncomfortable…she looks away avoiding the docs direct look in her eyes…his finger stays there for a bit longer than usual,she fidgets,uneasy…he smiles telling her to calm down,he is done…he goes to the bathroom. She quickly dresses.
Her friend tells her she is lucky,did you see what the other ‘doc’ did to that unconscious woman?
Is she really lucky?
Are you safe?Do you feel your loved ones are?
Will you do it first?
Who impregnates school going girls in Muhoroni?
Sugarcane Labourers blamed for impregnating school girls in Muhoroni constituency
Muhoroni mixed students during a girl to girl talk
Sex before marriage is a sin punishable by death. She who abstains is the deserving and accepted woman in the society…
This is the gospel at least all girls grow up not only listening to but also trying so hard to abide by.
Without a doubt, abstinence is the best message to preach to young people but we are burying our heads in the sand assuming this message is consumed and practiced wholesomely.
In Muhoroni Mixed Secondary school, the head teacher is one sad man since he cannot stand seeing his girls one by one drop out of school as a result of pregnancy and his boys suffering from STIs.
Since the abstinence gospel has not been adhered to, he has taken measures to combat the increasing teenage pregnancies. First, the girls and boys learn in different rooms despite being in…
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Disabled Women in Kenya Vulnerable to Sexual abuse due to weak laws
She wears a shy demeanour and does not speak much. Janet* Atieno, has been epileptic since birth, and lives with her grandmother and two of her children In Kanyairo village about 20 km from Siaya town.
The grandmother, a peasant farmer, is the breadwinner to both Janet* and the children. The 27 year old was orphaned at a young age and even though she is able to read and write her comprehension of facts is questionable. Her grandmother says that her metal capability seems to deteriorate as time goes by.
Janet* has had two births yet no man has claimed responsibility for the children laments her grandmother. Some of the men Janet* mention to be the fathers of her children are decent members of the society and have all denied responsibility.
One is a school principal to a secondary school in the village.
“I think some men take advantage of…
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Girl beaten for reporting her defilement
Photo : loycek.wordpress.com
HOMA BAY: A class six girl is receiving medical care at Homa Bay County Referral Hospital after she was attacked by her fellow pupils for allegedly causing interdiction of her former head teacher.
The minor sustained serious injuries on the head and right hand after she was beaten with thorn tree branches on her way to school on Monday in Ndhiwa sub-county. The wounded girl said the pupils attacked her for reporting her head teacher who she said had been molesting her sexually.
The head teacher was interdicted last Thursday after it was established that he had been sexually abusing the girl while she was a student at his school. The girl’s mother told The Standard she was forced to transfer her daughter to a neighbouring school after it was determined that the teacher was harassing the minor and it was at this new school where she was attacked.
“My daughters tribulations stem from the fact that she spoke up against the head teacher. I am now calling on security personnel to intervene and accord her justice,” she said. A paralegal worker, Millie Adhiambo, who exposed the incident recorded a statement with police saying the head teacher had threatened to burn her home for causing his interdiction. Ndhiwa OCPD Nixon Makokha said they are investigating the matter.
“I have summoned the headteacher to my office to enable us get accurate information concerning these allegations,” Makokha said.
Meanwhile, an 11-year-old minor is seeking justice after a 58-year-old teacher allegedly defiled her on her way from school, in a bush few kilometres from school. The teacher admitted before Migori police that he committed the offence on Friday evening when the minor was getting back home from school.
According to the girl’s father, his daughter came home in the evening with her uniform stained with blood and when asked to explain she said she had been defiled by the teacher in a bush next to her school. The minor also told The Standard that the teacher had been giving her money to buy food and other drinks in school and on that fateful day, he took her far from the school compound where he committed the heinous act.
The parents took her to hospital and a medical examination revealed that the had been defiled and she also sustained injuries in her private parts. The teacher was remanded for a few days at Migori Police Station awaiting a court hearing. However, to the parents’ utter shock, the man was granted police bond of Sh 50,000 and was released without being taken to court.
They immediately moved to court claiming police had been compromised by the suspect. “We cannot explain the circumstances under which the suspect was released because we expected him to be arraigned in court. Police decided to grant him bond without giving us any explanations but we remain unmoved. We will continue to pursue justice and ensure the suspect faces the law,” the father said.
Read more at: http://www.standardmedia.co.ke/thecounties/article/2000167727/homa-bay-girl-defiled-by-teacher-beaten-for-reporting-him
Teachers fighting HIV stigmatization
Decades after the HIV epidemic was discovered in Kenya, aggravated whispers on the syndrome seem to have cooled down.
However, behind the curtains, victims, especially the elite, are still struggling to contain the stigma associated with the epidemic.
Teachers from Kisumu County, who revealed their HIV status, for instance, narrate how widespread stigma has made it a tough balance for them.
And in 2007, when Teachers Service Commission (TSC) learnt of the impact of HIV on teachers, it initiated a scheme dubbed, Kenya Network of HIV Positive Teachers (KENEPOTE), to support local teachers living with HIV and tame stigmatisation. The seven-day event held at Egerton University, Njoro, brought together HIV positive teachers from all over the country to share their experiences.
Common figures
The Ministry of Health data indicates that Kisumu County has a HIV prevalence rate of 17 per cent.
Already, 104 teachers have identified with the association and openly discuss their status. County TSC Director Patrick Nyagosia acknowledges that the KENEPOTE concerns could be true, but none has been brought to their attention.
Paul Angira and Margret Echesa have become common figures among their colleagues for their unrelenting campaign against HIV stigma. The KENEPOTE secretary and treasurer respectively, have expressed fear that teachers continue to shy from sharing their HIV status for fear of discrimination.
Angira, a teacher at Hongo Radhiang Primary School in Nyando declared his status after the forum, having lived positively for 13 years. Even though he had shown signs of ailment and depreciated morale at work, none of his colleagues thought he could have been HIV positive. “I discovered my status in the 90s when I worked in Siaya,” noted Angira.
But after suffering in silence for long, a nurse at New Nyanza Provincial Hospital offered counseling services, which enabled Angira to enroll for drugs and various patient support systems.
HIV positive teachers attend counseling sessions and their regular support group meetings, which force them to be away from school for some time.
However, when their bosses are not aware of their conditions, they are given limited time, whoever stays away for longer is reported to TSC for disciplinary action, unfortunately, some of them get dismissed.
Echesa, a Mathematics and Physics teacher at Lions High School in Kisumu, says her colleagues were suspicious of her status because of the dark spots on her body and her frequent illness.
For instance, she says during tea break, her colleagues would prefer she uses a specific cup, which would be isolated from the rest. Worse still, they could not even borrow pens or any other basics from her.
The mother of two lived in denial for almost a decade and only accepted her condition after the death of her husband in early 2000.
“I could not bear the discrimination and ridicule from colleagues and church members,” she recalls.
Other teachers talked of similar experiences while others claim their performance is affected due to trauma given the fact they do not feel free to share their status.
They are now calling upon their fellow teachers not to shy off, but to declare, accept and appreciate their status.
Schools now a fertile ground for illegal abortion providers
Photo: timeslive.co.za
Back in the days when i was in high school,opening days meant palpation.This was finding out whether we were on our way to becoming mothers or not.No test kits.
The school nurse and the matron would squeeze our tummies till it hurts,if it did and you cried out,you were suspected pregnant.
Next phase would be being taken to a hospital for further tests.When a girl got a ride on our school bus,or booo as we used to call it,together with her mattress and metal box,it only meant one thing,she was confirmed pregnant and was being taken home to the parents.
I can only imagine what went on in their minds all the way.I wonder if they gave the parents a heads up or just arrived,i wonder what happened to the girl after that.
For this reason,girls who escaped the first palpation period at the beginning of the term made sure they got `rid of it` before the second one at the middle of the term.You would wake up in the morning for the morning shower and find a foetus in the bathroom.
We would scream attracting the watchie,matron,teacher on duty and the rest of the students.We would be subjected to intrusive tests…..
Presently a report has come out that our schools are the referral points to illegal abortion clinics.I came across this report from the Standard Newspaper.
The school system has been infiltrated by illegal abortion providers who have planted agents to direct pregnant girls to them, a new study by a team of medical researchers has revealed. “Communities have developed elaborate but illegal abortion-referral systems involving schools, parents, health workers, herbalists and even the police,” says the lead researcher, Joachim Osur of Amref Health Africa.
The team included Dr Alloys Orago, former head of the National Aids Control Council, Dr Elizabeth Bukusi of Kenya Medical Research Institute and Dr. Isaac Mwanzo of Kenyatta University. In the study published in the current African Journal of Reproductive Health, the researchers claim clandestine abortion providers they interviewed told them how they have put systems in place for girls in need to reach them.
“My cousin, a student at a nearby school and a neighbour’s daughter in another school act as my agents, referring needy girls my way,” one of the illegal, abortion service providers is said to have told the researchers. Dr Osur told The Standard yesterday that even teachers are aware of the system and use it to refer girls they may have impregnated to backstreet abortion providers.
On the other hand, parents were found to protect teachers who had impregnated their girls against disciplinary action. “In fact, there are instances when the head teachers have reported errant teachers to the Teachers Service Commission, only for the parents of the girls to defend them and let them go scot-free,” a teacher told the researchers.
Poor parents, the team writes in the journal, see such relationships as a source of income and encourage their daughters to get involved. The team followed 320 women, who were being treated for abortion complications at various health facilities, for a year. Illegal abortion providers, the study says, negotiate with the police and always go scot-free. “The provider and the police appeared to sort the cases out of court,” the report says.
The researchers were surprised that in more than 90 per cent of the instances where a pregnant girl approached a friend, relative, mother, teacher or the man responsible for advice, they were advised to go for an illegal abortion.Topping the list of those who wouldn’t hesitate to advise a pregnant girl to procure an abortion even when they want to keep the pregnancy are the men responsible, followed by girlfriends and then mothers.
Read more at: http://www.standardmedia.co.ke/article/2000167055/schools-become-fertile-ground-for-abortion-service-providers
Teenagers invent Condoms that changes colour to detect S.T.Is!
THE MIRROR
LONDON, UK: A team of teenage inventors have revealed a condom capable of changing colour when it comes into contact with STIs.
The prescient prophylactic has a built-in indicator that alters its colour depending on what infection it picks up. It was revealed at the TeenTech Awards in London where it won the health category.
Photo courtesy africaonemedia.com
Called the S.T.EYE, the project was the creation of Daanyaal Ali, 14, Muaz Nawaz, 13 and Chirag Shah, 14.
“We created the S.T.EYE as a new way for STI detection to help the future of the next generation,” said Daanyaal Ali, 14 from Isaan Newton Academy in Illford.
“We wanted to make something that make detecting harmful STIs safer than ever before, so that people can take immediate action in the privacy of their own homes without the invasive procedures at the doctors.
“We’ve made sure we’re able to give peace of mind to users and make sure people can be even more responsible than ever before.”
Muaz Nawaz, Daanyaal Ali and Chirag Shah, inventors of the S.T.EYE meet Dr Christian Jessen from TV’s Embarrassing Bodies at the TeenTech Awards
The S.T.EYE was only one of the projects on display at the TeenTech awards, which showcases the inventions of students using science and technology to solve real problems in a range of different categories.
As a prize for winning the health category Daanyaal, Muaz and Chirag will be invited to a reception at Buckingham Palace in the autumn.
“We encourage students to take their ideas out of the classroom by putting them face-to-face with industry professionals, helping to open their eyes to the real potential of their ideas,” said TeenTech’s founder and CEO, Maggie Philbin.
Other inventions on show at the awards included shoes that use the energy of walking to charge devices while on the go and wi-fi hair accessories that match the colour of clothing.
Another invention called the eWaterTap is a device to be used in rural Africa to help communities manage their water systems.
So after word went round about this new innovation,i went through social media(Tuli Tulitu`s facebook account) and came through these amazing comments.(Names have been removed for obvious reasons)
My next question would be: How much would they cost?
Beautiful
After that finger pointing begins…like who caused the color change???
And ..do you mean immediately when I see the colour al know which sti, do they come with a color chat guide!?
Who has the time to monitor if it changed colour in the middle of mombasa raha?Case baadaye
The question is , at what point does it change colour before or after penetration ?
haya..u med it change the color ,no its u..si mimi..ni wewe..twende hosi basi..And an NGO will come up to stop violence after sex..
Does it really make sense? .For starters your already protected by the condom. 2nd ur already in. 3rd who’d be checking! Lol
innovation am left wondering whether people has time to check when colour is changing.
Hapo chacha hakuna kufichana
Unless it changes colour when an infected person touches it its useless most people also have sex in the dark
Or the colours glitter like rosary ?
I’m sure HIV is blue….#justthinking
Kuome kata litmus paper olokore red
As long as the ‘mtree’ is sealed, you’re good to go. Colour change achia litmus paper!
will people have the time to check the change in color?
So how do you know who is infected?
What if both are?
What if both are?
just wondering since both our skins are on either who is the culprit for the litmus
stop smoking tea leaves
Ladies under fire on this…
Just to be safe, you all have to check with tỷ he doctor, coz hatujuwi litmus ime light pande ya inje ama ndani
It’s amazing that most of you think the sti is only found “inside”. What if the mulokoko is the bearer of the said ailment, does the condom change colour, and if so, when?
From alcohblow to STIsth. Tafakari….
This is a must have
This invention by 14 yrs is deadly…..yes…its time.
This young Indian-American teenagers barely 16years won a medical award on it.They’re still sexually inactive pheeeewww watoto!!!
Mago bro kelo excuse mangeny. Jogi ujuzi gi ni malo nyalo kata mieno potassium parmanganate bang gwaro guarrana ni. Kuome kata oriek.
ije na colour code..lol
Mmmh,need i say more?
aluogirl 